The Burning women
by Sohail Moughal
1 January 1995

Chapter 1
She was wearing a red dress, an infusion of east and west, the best she could afford to buy those days. Wide rectangular neckline, sleeveless, thigh high, with minimal embroidery in black around the neck line and shoulders, was shorter than the traditional kameez. Side pleats longer than normal, exposed her skin on the sides. Her pants were tight around her hips and thighs and opened to a bell shape below her knees. Her dark black hair with a few dyed streaks glowing in the orange spot lights of the hotel lounge. You could hardly notice her light brown skin tone hidden behind her very white makeup and shocking red lipstick. Her neck behind the rectangular neckline of her dress showed a V shaped tan where her normal shirt would have exposed her flesh. The skin between the tan and the wide shoulder straps of her kameez was pale and showed blue veins around her very thin collar bones. A black strap hung idly below her right shoulder that she was unaware of.

She had chosen one of the best hotels in Karachi for this very peculiar day in her life. By looking at her one could tell she was waiting for someone but seemed reluctant to look around. For most of the time she kept staring at the napkin arrangement in one of the glasses on her table but once in a while she would lift her neck with a sudden awkward movement and her eyes focus with a slight squint on a hotel guest as if trying to recognise them. A few seconds later, she would be staring back at the napkin again, fixing her now disturbed hair with her fingers and playing with one of the longer streaks hanging near her right eye. For the next ten minutes or so, she seemed ashamed of having done that.

A guy in his late twenties was constantly watching her moves. He had followed her in her observations for more than an hour. She had looked at him more than twice and their eyes had met only once. She decided to give him a slightly encouraging smile if their eyes met again. It took ten more minutes to happen. She lifted her eye lashes as if opened after a sweet dream and smiled with a wink. She could not do it the way she should have done, because she had decided to discard the idea in the middle of the process. She was not sure if the guy noticed the whole process of not. Deep down inside she was cursing herself and every other person she had known in her life for having compelled her to do something like this.

We all have moments in our lives when we feel that we are at our best The length of the period is different for different people depending on the environments and the circumstances they are in. In these periods, they look prettier, more confident, more witty and more in control. One could tell that her best days were either about to start or were ending. These periods really mean a lot to an average looking woman. It was the case with her too. Had she been one of the more fortunate ones, as the standards of the era dictate, a high point or a low point of life would not have mattered much. She had spent the whole afternoon getting ready for the occasion. She did not know what was required to make her look prettier. She had used every type of beauty product she could afford to buy. A long black flimsy silk scarf hung on her right shoulder that kept slipping down exposing the black strap. She had been brought up wearing a big thick shawl that covered her head and most of her upper body. She was feeling very cold, and despite the cool atmosphere in the lounge, her forehead and her upper lip kept perspiring. She would have used the corner of her shawl to wipe it. She had forgotten to bring any tissue papers and was reluctant to use the napkins. She had not ordered anything yet and was not sure if she was going to at all. She did not have enough money to buy a single cup of tea from the very expensive hotel she was in. Something in her kept compelling her to leave the hotel again and again. She looked up once again towards the guy she had noticed staring at her earlier, but could not find him. Her only chance had left. Not knowing what to do next, she got up from her chair and started walking towards the door. Her eyes had filled with tears and everything in the lounge and further in her life looked blurred. She looked back once more towards the guy but could not find him and bumped into a waiter. Without saying a single word, she kept walking, wanted to look back once more but could not as she had to go around a column and did not want to bump into it too. Once out of the hotel doors, she used her scarf to wipe the cold beads of perspiration from her face.

It was an hour past midnight and for a woman to walk out of a hotel alone in the city of Karachi, twenty years ago, at that time of the night compels people to form several ideas. She had no time to care about what people said at that time. She took out the cheap electronic watch to look at the time. She had decided not to wear the watch earlier. She turned right at the hotel gates and started walking towards the Clifton Bridge that would take her further away from the place she had been living for the last one year.

Karachi being a coastal city in the south can become very pleasant during the month of July, though temperatures in other parts of the country rise to an average of forty five degrees centigrade. A cool and slightly humid breeze hit her when she stopped to gain some breath after arriving at the top of the bridge. She stood on the footpath on the side of the road and gazed at the shimmering lights of the city. An old electric train engine passed under the bridge and disturbed her thoughts and the noise pattern of her surroundings for a few minutes. She asked her self, “How many of the people in these buildings are actually sleeping without a worry in their lives?” “How many are sleeping with their loved ones?” “How many were without their loved ones?” “How many were without any loved ones?” “How many of them are crying?” “How many of them have gone to sleep after crying?” “Who could be benefiting from all this?” “Why does it happen this way?” “Who has designed it this way?” “Why are we created to start with?” Her thoughts were discontinued when a passing by jeep honked at her. She saw the red break lights glow more than normal. The driver had touched the break pedal after noticing her and released it. A few more cars passed by, a few honking once in a while. She noticed a jeep making a U-turn in the distance. The same jeep passed by her on the other side of the road. She looked back and saw that the same jeep was blinking its amber indicator to make another about turn to get to her side of the road. She had a feeling that the jeep was coming after her. She looked around and noticed her shadow getting shorter and shorter due to the headlights from the jeep approaching behind her. The jeep slowed down next to her and her shadow vanished in front of her. She decided not to look towards the jeep and moved hastily to get off the bridge, so that she could turn into a smaller street. The window lowered on her side of the jeep and a male voice said something from inside. She did not know how to react and kept looking straight and walked as if there was no one around her.

“May I drop you home Miss?” He repeated.
“Jee?” (What?) She asked politely as if she still could not hear what was said. She looked towards the jeep and was astonished to see that the man was the same guy she had winked at in the hotel.

“Let me take you wherever you want to go. It is quite late in the night” He said and stopped the jeep. She had also stopped. He came out with a totally confused countenance, haphazardly looking around as if trying to hide in the middle of the road. He looked quite scared himself and seemed as if ready to run away any moment. He was also trying to peep through the windscreens of each and every car that passed by.

“Thank you, I will walk.” She said with a smile. She was still surprised at the coincidence. She started walking again, not wanting the opportunity to go.

“I was in the hotel lounge, if you recognise me. I would like to go back and have a cup of tea with you, or a Mulligatawny soup if you like. I love it with croutons and sour cream.They make it very well”. He stopped as if trying to remember what he wanted to say. “I had gone to buy some cigarettes and you left in the meanwhile. And then I saw you leave the hotel, and I followed you here. I am sorry. Just wanted to let you know.” He had gained some confidence in joining his words but his voice was shaky and almost pleading. How would a woman know if she could trust a man in these circumstances? But she really didn’t care. At present she did not need a trustworthy man. On the other hand, she felt that he could be trusted for the time being.

“I do not have much time.” She said as if wanting to control the situation.

“We will have a cup of tea. It will hardly take ten twenty minutes. Please.” He had both his hands tightly clenched together, touching his chest and his chin at the same time. He looked like a baby in a candy store begging for his favourite chocolate. She smiled at him and moved a little towards the jeep and stopped, looked back and was about to turn around, when he rushed to open the door and she sat in.

Next - Chapter 2
Some of my other ramblings...